What a day

Today was uh, a bit of a roller coaster :T which by the way I found out I can still ride. Well, smaller ones at least since no one would ride bigger ones at Sea World, TX with me. Ok, if I'm being honest it felt more down hill than up.

I was not prepared for what washed over me this morning in church?!  I just could not stand/sit there by myself front and center while tears kept coming.  I don't think I've walked out of service before but a dear friend ran into me in the restroom and knew exactly where I was.  "Heather, are you believing the lie that you are alone?"  Her blessing me with the Truth again and letting me soften like a child in her mother's arms was cathartic.

I was still challenged to sing when I went back into service (upstairs in the back .. a place I hadn't been in a long time) but mustered all I could in those moment to get out a few important lines/words of trust and praise.  Then I struggled again at home.  Talking to my grandmother was hard too .. feels like we are trying to hold on.  I took a nap hoping it would help my emotions and immediately asked if He was there when I woke up.

Through out the evening messages uplifted me .. lifting up another in hard times, one from a parent last year hoping to find me well and telling me of her son "having a lot to tell about me" and his success this summer "with all the skills I had taught him".  If she only knew everything I've been contending with.  Another linking me in .. curious if might be a lead to something else The Lord is working on.  We'll see.

Then on the radio tonight as I ran to the store:
"Sometimes the unthinkable happens .. and maybe that husband or wife has walked away .. 'I might not be able to see the plans you have for me right now but I trust You.'"
Next .. something about leaving the past behind.

Finally, tonight from Intouch's devotion for today:

If we focus on the sin rather than God’s plan for restoration, then our entire spiritual perspective gets off balance. Emphasizing the sin directs all the attention to self—what I have done, how I  have acted, where I  have been. This self-centeredness will never lead to the peaceful assurance of salvation that the Lord has provided. When we focus on ourselves, we leave little room for God.

Rom8:6 is .. good .., because the Lord would have us focus not on our problem, but on His solution.  The apostle Paul boldly declares that God saw our dire situation and acted on His own initiative to rescue us.

The heavenly Father graciously handed salvation over to us as a free gift. And when the Lord gives a gift, there is no one who can ever steal it away and nothing that can interfere with its permanence (Rom8:35-39). That’s the assurance our God wants us to have.

So thankful for His love .. and that He peruse us and find us wherever we are and speaks.